Saturday, May 16, 2015

You're Not My Sustenance

Only three days have passed
And I have lost interest
Guess my brain finally wised up
It inhaled all that could have been
And exhaled it into the air

Expelling all possibility for silly photo booth sessions
Hours of talking
And miles sitting in a car beside you
Now you are just a friend 
No, less than a friend
Now you are just a friend's friend

I can't help but to smugly look at my reflection
"You've done good kid!" 
The voice of my jaded target shooting coach echoed in my ear
I've dodged yet another bullet
Without adding time, cost and energy
If anything, the process has gained necessary efficiency



I guess, getting mad truly helped
I spent an entire day asking friends 
Researching whether it is legitimate to get mad at a non-friend
At a non-lover 
If you were my friend, I'd definitely scream at you
At least, text in CAPITAL LETTERS
Because I care 
And I hope to build a lasting relationship
But this, this was never supposed to last 
Not in a clear, spelled out way, at least

On the third day
I started obsessing
I obsessed over the legitimacy of my anger
I obsessed over ways to channel this anger
I obsessed over spelling it out for you

At the end of the day
"You are getting on my nerves!" entered my mind
Hmm... the phrase had a nice ring to it
It resonated with this knot behind my sternum
Its potency dissolved my obsession

Sigh that's a relief
The past three days had nothing to do with you
Of course you inspired the fury
But you were not its sustenance

No comments:

Post a Comment