Sunday, February 9, 2014

SQ: Leaked

If you've been following me on Instagram, I've been writing a new novel that is sort of loosely based on my life. At this moment, I can see the novel ending at about 40 pages, with more than 15000 words. However, no novel is that short and sweet. So, I'm trying to figure out if I should continue and how I should proceed. The story seems too simple, but I sort of like it that way, which is rare, considering how hay-wired I can be.

Well, tonight I thought that I should publish some parts of it, since I haven't leaked any of my novels in weeks. Then again, this might not be the best idea, because the steam that I've had for the past week could just disappear when I leak it (yes, I am superstitious). But, I want to release just enough to feel less erratic about the entire process. FYI, (obviously) this is still a work in progress. Fingers crossed, after this I will have enough room in my head to continue burning off steam and continuing this tale. Also, I thought it would be a fun weekend treat before Monday rolls in. Enjoy!

SQ

Tropical heat is often taken for granted. I feel invincible, ready to fly and unleash my wings whenever I am under the sun. And yet, I find myself on the side of a road in the cold. Snow trickles down, reminding me of all the romantic comedies that I’ve endured in the eighteen years I’ve been on earth. Couples suddenly emerge, cuddling and holding hands. If this were sunny Jakarta, I would never give a fuck. Instead I’d walk on by, get myself a cold bottle of iced tea and release myself from this inevitable emotional tragedy. But, as I wait for yet another meeting, I can’t help but wish for a cigarette, or some other device to make me appear bulletproof.

            The cabin light dims, I close my laptop and carefully tuck it next to me. Suddenly, I am alone in the dark, left to think, wonder and wallow. At the very least, now I am draped in luxury and privilege. The beauty of Business Class has a lot to do with freedom. Rather than placing everything on the spacious compartment in front of your seat, you can hide your previous belongings and your favorite handbag right next to you, despite your increasing waist size.

A photo similar to the one on Instagram

            Accounts from my late teens proof how ineffective time is at changing me. I am still always on the go from one meeting to another and still lead a solitary life. If only I experienced a Western upbringing, I’d have nothing to worry about, as I would probably have lovers all over the world. They would certainly make for the perfect distraction at friends’ weddings. In the arms of a strong, tall, and not to mention white Adonis I would be golden. I could see my friends sneering at me as their husbands hand over their babies to them for feeding. I would not have to wear high heels as my lover would announce, quite too loudly and drunkenly that he loves me in my most natural form. I smile, imagining my friends’ glaring at us, as my lover and I make our way to the dance floor. Yet, this is nothing but a dream and I am on the way to another friend’s wedding with a carry on suitcase and a creased dress, which reminds me to purchase some last minute make up and gifts. 

*Author owns rights to the photos above

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