Monday, January 6, 2014

False Liberation

The society, this society deceives us. It looks at us and smirks, laughs almost. It holds itself back, just to continue the gag. This society promises false liberation. With minimal effort it convinces us that regulations don’t exist, that finally men and women are equal, that no one will judge us for our choices.

An observation is in order. Enter Bubble, due to false liberation no one selects names for names anymore. She paces around, holding tight to her smart phone. Her mind is clouded by a boy, no a man. They are only a three and a half years apart, but even in this “liberated” society a one and a two as the first numbers of two digit ages make all the difference. Her hands cover her face, then her fingers run over her hair, getting stuck in a bobby pin.

“Why hasn’t he texted me back?” she screams to the sky.
“Knowing you, you probably replied too quickly”, a friend answers, clearly tired of hearing her question this and that.
“Is that a bad thing?”
“Don’t you think it makes you look desperate? Needy? Obsessive?” “Does it?”

Oh, don’t act so surprised that Bubble is even questioning this behavior. Regulations exist within this society, especially in high-stake games. An example? Romance will do. No? In a liberal society, shouldn’t anyone, both man and woman, boy and girl, transgender or cisgender have the right to response quickly, reasonably or tardily without being labeled?

“Ah! Here it is. Finally a response”, she shrieks with delight.
“Look who”s ecstatic!”, the friend comments.
“Oh gosh! Who would send such a lengthy message? One, two, three... Six lines? I had to

scroll down...”, Bubble looks through her phone.

Now, that is up for debate. Apparently, in this liberal society, word count is one indicator of one’s qualities. Could this be any simpler? In a car, Parker sits behind the wheels, while his friend sits beside him. Finally they are free from traffic.

“No texting while driving!” the friend grabs the phone from the boy’s hands. “Sorry! I just need to see- has she replied?” Parker steps on the gas.
“Man... she takes a long time. Five minutes? Here it is”
“What did she say?”

“Quote on quote, “I guess so. Why?”. Are you sure that she’s interested in you?” “I thought so. We’ve been texting each other every day for two months”

In this liberal society, lack of regulation actually means the existence of a grey zone between rules and lack of rules. During “ancient times” rules were written down, absorbed by the conscious mind. Bending the rules or breaking them meant grave consequences or at the very least, some sort of punishment. Everyone knew of these regulations, they knew the consequences, hence they followed these rules. A mutual understanding had been created. Simple. But of course, these regulations bounded its citizens from behaving the way we do today.

In this case, mutual understanding made courting much easier. The list dictated proper social etiquette and behavior. The list would prevent Bubble and Parker from this:

“You know what, maybe this is not working out...” she sighs, “I don’t want to suffocate him. I’ll send him a message and see what happens, if he doesn’t text back with a satisfying message then...” she flips close her phone.
“That seems like a sound decision... You are an independent woman. You can do this! There are many fish in the sea!” her friend smiles.

“Why are girls so confusing? One minute she appears so interested, now she just seems bored... Maybe I should give her some space, you know, let her breath? I don’t want to screw this up”, he decides to refrain from clicking the send button.
“There are other fish in the ocean, man” his friend assures him.
“What if I want this fish?” he looks up, puts the phone back in his pocket and begins driving again.

To be honest, a person or two can’t change an entire society. Would you even want to change this society? If only they could do something to avoid this “mess”. Sigh. Preventive action, that’s what they need. Honesty? Spontaneity? Pride seems to be in the way of attraction, if not love.

In a world where rules or lack of deceive you from engaging in a relationship, that may or may not end with ever after, come prepared with a grain of salt and sugar. Remember that two play this game. Take advantage of the “lack of regulations” to ask questions, save yourself from making uninformed decisions. Is he really turned-off by rapid messaging on your part? Is she really disinterested or is it because she texts that way or she’s having a bad day? Shoot a question while you can.

Throw yourself off that cliff, that special fish may just be on the other side. 

*Author owns rights to both photos above

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