|The Tunnel Towards a Thawed Heart|
To be socially awkward, an introvert, and ambitious comes with a box of other labels, be it bookworm, cold, or blunt. Throughout my days in junior high and high school, where I plunged into the social world, without so much as a life jacket, I adapted by minimizing my emotions. When a friend squealed at a "cute" handbag, I'd either stare at her or roll my eyes, with my lips pressed. Though, I wanted to invest my time to succeed in something, whether it is academics, arts, or society, I opted to detach myself from things that were bound to distract me, including being singled out from the social group.
Perhaps, what Dr. DePaul meant was that work came easily, much more so than being socially adept. For me, it came with the territory of wearing glasses, being good in English, and having ambitions. Since primary school, people thought I loved reading, when admittedly I demanded to be read to till I was in fifth grade. For Pete's sake, I only finished my first novel in six grade, which was late in comparison to my cousins and most people my age. Even so, the labels endured. I was stereotyped based on my appearance, behavior and background. It became a trademark of sorts and the fuel behind my academic and artistic success. Yes, it was much easier for me to bring a book, as back up, to the cafeteria than change myself to join in or to belong.
|The Cold Never Bothered Me Anyway...|
Taken from http://elsa-queenofarendelle.tumblr.com
On the other hand, minimal emotion might be the workings of a particularly boyish childhood. Being the only girl, the first social interactions that I ever shared was with boys. I remember putting together guns from legos and rolling on the floor and shooting at my cousins. I remember being physical and aggressive. These tendencies conflicted with my love with ballet, ice skating, tutus, makeup, dressing up, and pink. The clash, somehow, after so long, manifested into a cold, young, bionic lady.
This realization, however, is still premature. As a child, I had learned of a story called the Ice Queen. I remember antagonizing her, yet having this fascination for this glamorous, powerful and accomplished woman. This December, Disney Animation Studios premiered Frozen, which shares parallels with Ice Queen. Characters such as the Ice Queen, Elsa and the Witch in Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe, are all portrayed as being a leader, ambitious and cold. The Ice Queen is often depicted as conniving and selfish, especially as she kidnaps the boy. Elsa unleashes eternal cold on her land and creates her own ice castle. While the Witch leads a troop of monsters and also kidnaps one of the children, Edmund. Somehow, society fails to see the heart of the matter.
|Taken from http://www.tumblr.com/tagged/no-good-deed|
Behind the icy exterior there is a soul that is fed up with loneliness, as well as social norms. Clearly, they can't thrive in society, so why shouldn't they build their own world and pick the friends that they want? Dr. DePaul does the same thing with her research. She invents a universe where she is comfortable, where she can succeed and leave behind meaningful artifacts. The same goes with Elphaba, the protagonist of Gregory Maguire's book Wicked and the antagonist of the Wizard of Oz. In one the musical numbers, No Good Deed, Elphaba announces, "I promise no good deed, will I attempt to do again. Ever again!" after arguing that "no good deed goes unpunished", that "All helpful urges should be circumvented-" and realizing that though she had meant well, "Well, look at what well-meant did".
|Elsa and Elphaba|
Oh Idina Menzel!
Taken from http://kc-eazyworld.deviantart.com/art/Elsa-and-Elphaba-416821008
*Author only own the right to the first photo