You're Bleached, Too Bleached

What flag?

Who am I?

I touch my chubby cheeks  

Rub it real hard!

Hopefully it'll darken

I don't need a lot

Just a slight tint and I'm golden

Yesteday, I went to work with my aunt

She's an assistant at a Japanese bank

There's a girl in a kimono on the screen of the money machine

What could be better than Kimono and cash?

Original Drawing - Fall 2012
Inspire by little me!

We go up in a box

Don't look down or you'll get nauseous

Finally, I see another human being

She is tan, just like others around me

She looks normal

"Good morning!" I yell

Sometimes people can't see me because of my size

"I didn't know that Koyashi-san's grandchild is visiting,"

My aunt laughs real hard

"Mr. Koyashi doesn't have grandchildren."

They say I'm bleached

They say I'm not Indonesian

Better yet, they say I'm Japanese

Too pale to be anak Nusantara

"No Indonesian is white like you

No Indonesian has red lips like yours

Actually, you look exactly like the Japanese flag

The red dot is your lips 

And the white space is your cubby face"

ME                                                     DAD                                                MOM

"Mommy, mommy! What am I?"

"A person"

"What country do I belong to?"

"Indonesia?"

"No dear, she's Chinese Indonesian,"

"I'm Chinese?

How do you know that?"

"If you're saying she's Chinese Indonesian

I'm saying she's Arabic Indonesian"

"Arabic?"

"Just because she has your nose and eyes

Doesn't mean she doesn't have my genes"

Common denominator

Common denominator

Indonesia

I am Indonesian

Rub harder

I am Indonesian

It's turning red

White red tan

White red tan

It hurts 

But it's worth it

As long as I am Indonesian

As long as I belong

La Mama Happy Ending
Photo courtesy of Josh Rice

This poem/prose was created for a writing workshop lead by Catherine Filloux as part of a Sarah Lawrence - La Mama class. My new friends, including Catherine, laughed while I read it, particularly in the "Japanese flag" part. I was afraid that this one girl, who is half Japanese and Caucasian American, would not respond well to the piece. Though it was nerve wrecking to read it aloud, I left the session with a clearer idea of my voice and a best friend, the girl I was most frightened of.

*Author owns rights to the first and second photos only