Yet, I can't bring myself to pick up the phone.
And when I manage to do it, I ignore the box where his words are kept and instead, focus on other chat rooms.
I do this despite constantly wanting to reach out.
I do this despite missing him badly.
I do this despite wanting to hear how his day went.
I do this because I can't be honest with him.
Honesty is the best policy, I know.
But is it really the best approach if it would lead you to make one-sided decisions?
Honesty is the best policy if we're both ready to be brutal.
And I'm not.
I'm much too comfortable sitting in the dark seeing your message illuminate this existence of mine.